How To Write a Birthday Bucketlist if Your Age Ends in Nine

We all know that milestone birthdays are a big deal. In fact, we even wrote an article about how to celebrate them. Entering a new decade feels important, symbolic, and sometimes emotional too. But what about the year before you hit that big, round number, when you turn 29, 39 or 49? It turns out, that people this age - who psychologists refer to as ‘nine-enders’ - can be [particularly prone to reflecting on the meaning of their lives].

If you’re heading towards a birthday like this, the feeling may resonate. We tend to think back over the past ten years and often, we think about how close we are to the next decade and ask ourselves some pretty introspective questions. Have I done everything I wanted to? Am I happy? How can I make this final year count? Lots of us feel pressure to do more. Society sets expectations on us, and we set expectations on ourselves. Some people even feel disappointed that they haven’t achieved enough by this time. But what if we use this birthday as an exciting opportunity for growth and self-discovery?

If you scroll through Instagram and TikTok you’ll start to see one particular trend that resonates with nine-enders: The Bucket List. Or, if we’re going to give it a name: the #30before30 or #40before40 challenge. This is essentially a number of things we want to tick off our list before we hit the next milestone. What goes on that list is as unique as you are, but they do tend to have a few key themes which include: travel, life experiences, skills, fitness, personal growth, relationships and career achievements. If you want to make your own list, here are five thought starters to help you - the last one might surprise you.

Question 1: What can I do that’ll push me?

Did you know that you’re [48% more likely to run your first marathon] if your age ends in nine? At this age it’s natural to want to challenge ourselves, to prove that we can do hard things. And while fitness is a great place to start, you don’t necessarily have to run 26.2 miles in Lycra if that doesn’t sound like your kind of thing. You can also set yourself goals like: learning how to do a handstand or going cold water swimming every month of the year (even in December!)

Question 2: How can I open up more?

Did you know that a whopping [89% of us find it hard to talk about our feelings]? But if you have been feeling unhappy about your personal circumstances - be it your love life, career, finances or something else - a wonderful resolution can be to share your concerns with someone you trust. You could set up some time with a friend to have a call or meet for a coffee. And if you don’t feel ready for that, you could join a support group on social media. When we open up, not only do we find comfort, but we’re also better at problem-solving. Not sure where to start? [Use this article as a handy guide].

Question 3: How can I spread joy?

Bucket list challenges can also be a great opportunity to show people that we care about them. Maybe you’ve always wanted to write someone a letter or a poem. Perhaps you want to give a compliment to a stranger. Or maybe you want to be the kind of person who sends their friends flowers to say “thank you for always listening to my 15 minute long voice notes”. Think about a few things that would make you happy if someone did them for you, and write those down as challenges that you can do for someone else.

Question 4: What will enrich my life experiences?

Having enriching life experiences requires us to step outside of our normal day-to-day and make them a priority. Maybe there’s a destination and activity you’re dreaming of - open up a map or [head to TikTok for inspo], then create a monthly savings plan that will help you achieve that postcard-worthy goal. Or maybe you want to add joy to your life experiences with fun hobbies. There are plenty of tutorials online if you want to try something new - like making an origami swan, perfecting a certain dish or [learning how to make a DIY Christmas wreath]. And there are countless classes you can go to if you’d prefer to put your phone away and have more of a hands-on experience: Pottery classes, life drawing classes, cooking classes and singing classes are a handful of our favourites.

Question 5: What have I done already that makes me proud?

Think about what you can add to your list and tick off right now. We did say the last one might surprise you! This question is all about reflecting on the things you’ve already done. Call it self-gratitude or mindfulness - the key here is to recognise that you’ve achieved some impressive stuff already. Maybe you’ve given blood, perhaps you’ve donated to charity, maybe you were there for a friend when they were going through a really tough time. You’ve lived almost a full decade of your 20s, 30s or 40s and in that time you will have made yourself proud even if you didn’t realise it then.

We hope these prompts inspire you to write a list that’ll help you live the life you’ve always dreamt of. Remember, the list should fill you with joy (not dread!) And chances are, if you’re a nine-ender, a few of your friends will be too. So think about ways you can tick off some exciting things together - group holiday, anyone? Or you could throw someone a surprise birthday party here is one of our favourite themes. Whatever you choose to do, we’d love to hear about it. Leave us a comment on Instagram, Facebook or TikTok to help inspire other nine-enders who may be writing their own bucket list challenges.